Promises
by singeivoire
Summary: Kushina may be pregnant, but that doesn't change anything, she still has a life to live. Naruto's parents look to the future. FINAL CHAPTER UP.
1. Chapter 1

So we know what happened to Minato, but what about Naruto's mom? This is about as close to "angsty" as my writing ever gets - what do you think, is it worth continuing? Many thanks to my beta buddy Waiting4Morning - master of angst, bane of adverbs.

These characters aren't mine - in case you were wondering.

* * *

ONE

"So, does this mean you'll marry me now?"

"Minato, I said I was pregnant, not desperate." Kushina concentrated on the chopsticks in her hand. Her eating wasn't slowing down in the wake of her pronouncement. She perched on a stool in the kitchen, casually lovely – one knee propped up against the counter while she slurped her instant ramen.

Minato studied her for a moment. "Well, obviously this changes things." He forced a wry chuckle. "Babies have the habit of changing things."

She gave a familiar, barking laugh at that. "No shit! This little guy's already making himself obnoxious. Couldn't stop barfing for two weeks, then I couldn't stop eating, then barfing again – now... well, you get the picture." She scowled at the empty styrofoam noodle cup in her hand then glanced up at Minato. "Are you going to finish that?" She eyed his unfinished portion of ramen.

Minato had lost his appetite. He pushed the cup across the counter. She dug in enthusiastically. He cleared his dry throat. "So – he. You said he. What makes you think it's a – a boy?"

"Hm!" She shrugged and spoke through a mouthful of noodles. "It just is – count on it!"

Minato had to chuckle at that – leave it to Kushina to state a hunch with that much confidence.

"Actually," Kushina tipped the second noodle cup to her mouth to access any morsels she may have missed. "I don't think the kid will change too much, my love." Her tone was casual, but it made Minato feel like he had just been punched in the gut.

"You – you still mean to leave?"

"Well, obviously not right away." She flashed him a toothy grin. "Looks like you get me for another nine months at least."

He winced internally and had some trouble keeping his voice even when he spoke. "So, then what? You're just going to have our son and then run off into the sunset with him?"

Kushina paused and met Minato's eyes for the first time. Her tone was more serious now. "No – no, that's not what I was thinking." She stacked the second empty noodle cup inside the first and folded her callused hands around her knee. "I was thinking he would be better off here, with you." She let the words sink in for a moment, then continued, as if trying to paddle a boat upstream with her excuses. "He'd be better off in Konoha – son of the Hokage, a settled existence, a town that can love him and raise him. I need to do this – you know I do. I have to see if I'm truly the only one left of my family. I have to know if anyone is rebuilding back home. Mina-kun, you know I'm not the kind for settling down – for keeping house, I'm just… my love? Mina-kun, you're not _listening_!"

Her sharp voice pierced through his reverie, and Minato was startled back into reality. She was right, he hadn't been listening – he had heard all these excuses before. Minato's voice was harsh, harsher than he intended. "So this kid, our son, I'll just tell him, what? That his mother had more important things to do than stick around and raise him? 'Sorry, son, she was a great ninja, she just wasn't the maternal type.' Do you really think that'll fly?"

He paused, because he noticed that Kushina's face had become hard, and her eyes glistened. She held his gaze for a moment then dropped her knee and slipped off the stool, turning to busy herself at the sink. A wave of guilt crashed over Minato. "I, Kushina-chan, I didn't…" He was about to say he didn't mean what he had said, but that would have been a lie, so he let the apology hang midair, incomplete.

"Heh." She sniffled a little in her laugh, still facing the sink. "You're right, I'm a mess."

"I didn't mean…" He began again, but let it die like his truncated apology.

"You can't lie to me, friend." She turned around then and her eyes were bright. "I know it's terrible, but I can't think of any other way to be true to the oath I made to myself – I NEED to go do this. I won't go back on my word – I will find the survivors of my clan – if there are any left to find. If I let myself be at home here, if I accept a husband and a son, if I don't leave soon – there's no way I'll ever leave. You know that."

Minato could feel that his cheeks were damp with tears. "So, I'll come with you – we'll look together, as a family."

At this, Kushina actually snorted and began to chuckle through her crying. "Minato – you're Yondaime _Hokage_ – it probably wouldn't be the best plan to go gallivanting off to the war-torn ends of the earth to help your girlfriend find her lost family."

Minato couldn't help but smile a little.

"Can you imagine?: 'I'm sorry, my people, I realize we're at war and all, but there are more important things!'" Kushina's "fearless leader" voice elicited a reluctant laugh out of Minato, so she continued. "'I get that I'm awesome, but at least you'll still have old Sarutobi, ne?'"

Minato chimed in at last: "'You citizens of Konoha are cool and everything, but this chick is _great_ in bed.'"

Kushina grinned. "A man's gotta have his priorities, after all!"

Since they were on a roll, they continued the string of jokes until their giggles and sobs were indistinguishable, and they were both awash in snot and the sheer joy of each other's company. Eventually Minato got the hiccups and Kushina had to retreat to the bathroom before she wet herself. When she returned, they simply settled into each other's arms to rest together – their calm punctuated every so often by a hiccup from Minato and a giggle from Kushina. Minato felt at peace again – this was as things were meant to be.

Later on, they sat together on the balcony, staring out at the city, tired and headachy from spent emotions. Kushina's head was resting on his chest, and Minato couldn't tell if she was awake or not. He was stroking her baby-fine, fiery red hair mesmerized by the way it reflected the lights in the apartment behind them.

"Kushina-chan, will you come back – someday?" He murmured it into her hair, not really expecting an answer.

There was no noise for a moment, just the sound of his own breathing. He thought perhaps she had really drifted off – or perhaps that she was pretending to sleep in order to avoid the question. But before long her quiet voice came drifting back to him.

"Yes – yes, I'll be back. You can count on it – that's a promise."


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is set directly after Jiraiya's flashback in Chapter 382.

Thanks for the reviews everyone, they are much appreciated! Hugs for all!

* * *

TWO

Kushina lowered herself gingerly into the chair that Jiraiya had just vacated. Minato was showing his old teacher to the door, so Kushina used his chair to prop her feet up under the dining room table. The Sannin's visits were always entertaining, but they did wear Kushina out. These days, _everything_ seemed to wear Kushina out.

She heard the front door to the apartment click into its frame and she let out a sigh. The suite in Hokage tower was an improvement over her old accommodations, but it didn't allow for much privacy. She felt, rather than heard Minato approach and place his hands on the back of her chair. "I thought you didn't like the name Naruto – now you're telling Jiraiya it's 'a beautiful name'?" Minato's voice was gently teasing.

"I don't _like_ it, but I've resigned myself to it." Kushina chuckled and tilted her head back to receive a soft kiss from Minato. "Just make sure you teach him how to stand up to bullies, because you better believe he'll get it for being named after a fish cake."

"Hey, hey – it also means 'maelstrom'. We'll just have to keep reminding the kid that he can be a storm instead of a fish cake, it's all up to him."

"_You'll_ just have to, you mean."

"Hm?"

"_You'll_ just have to keep telling the kid he's not a fish cake."

Minato frowned. He didn't like being reminded of Kushina's plans to leave, but she did it anyway – in little hints throughout the day. She couldn't let him get too comfortable; it would just make it harder a few months down the road. Minato didn't object verbally anymore, he just flinched whenever she spoke of their son's future—one that didn't include her.

Minato circled the table and drew back the chair that contained Kushina's feet. He glanced down, chuckled, lifted her feet, eased into the chair, and placed the feet in his lap.

"No tickling," she warned.

"Fine, fine."

"So will Jiraiya-sama make a good godfather, do you think?"

"I'm sure he will. Sensei will be a good example to the kid." Minato paused, a secret smile toying with the corners of his mouth. "He reminds me a little of you."

"What?!" Kushina sputtered for a beat. "I'm not a PERVERT!"

"Heh, I mean, you're both so sure of yourselves." Minato began massaging her feet and Kushina closed her eyes, mollified. "You're both persistent, both brave, both prone to… wandering."

Ouch. She wasn't sure if he had intended that jab about wandering, but it hurt nonetheless. Kushina opened her eyes again and cast around the room for a change of subject. She looked down at her hands clasped on top of her turgid belly.

"Y'know, I really hate maternity clothing."

Minato chuckled. "Why is that?"

"Well, it only comes in boring colors, it's dowdy, makes me look fat, never fits right, and it makes me look like a housewife. I mean, the huge pockets are useful for kunai, but where's the sexy in an outfit like this?"

"In the legs, my dear, in the legs." Minato paused in his foot-massaging and trailed a finger up Kushina's leg in a playful manner. She gave an involuntary twitch, kicking Minato in the gut. "Ooofh – okay, okay, no tickling."

"Damn straight."

Minato chuckled, but his smile seemed wistful. "What's wrong with housewives, anyway?" His tone was still teasing, but Kushina's insides sizzled with guilt. She pulled her feet away and got off the chair. This had to stop.

"What's your problem anyway?"

"What?" Minato couldn't quite make his expression innocent.

"Why do you keep sniping at me like that – you know I'm still going. You've known for the last seven months, but still you insist on sneaking in your little guilt jabs like it will make a difference. Like it will change my mind! Just stop it!" Kushina heard her shouts reverberate off the walls of the apartment but didn't bother reeling it in. "All you're doing is making it harder for the last few months we have together. Stop it!"

Minato's expression was stony, he pushed himself up from his own chair, hands flat against the table. "Shh—Kushina lower your voice!" Even his hiss radiated authority, but Kushina was having none of it.

"Don't shush me like I'm a disobedient child or one of your adoring subjects! Besides, we're in Hokage Tower! No one's going to overhear us!" Kushina was boiling now. "You're not going to guilt me into staying – I'm not going to be housebroken!"

"Kushina-chan, come on. Get a hold on yourself. You're doing the same thing to me, and you know it." He didn't shout, but his tone quieted her. "You've been rubbing in this whole 'leaving' thing for months. I _know_ you don't want to stay, I _know_ you don't want to get married – you can't blame me for getting a little defensive at times. Now, can we just drop the subject?"

Kushina huffed a sigh. "Fine. I need a snack." She circled the table and re-entered the kitchen. On the hunt for something starchy and sweet, she began to rifle through cabinets, certain there was a box of pocky hidden in there somewhere. She was contemplating baking a pan of microwave brownies when Minato came up beside her, calmly reached into the top cabinet, and pulled out a box of graham crackers. He set them down in front of her then turned to lean back on the counter and face Kushina, arms crossed.

"Marry me."

"It's customary to offer a ring on these occasions – not a box of cookies."

"Crackers," he corrected.

"Whatever – it ought to be shiny."

"Well, what do you say?"

"Minato," Kushina sighed, "you know we're already married – or we may as well be. There's never been anyone else for me – and there never will be again."

"Same here." Minato looked at the floor then back into her eyes. "So what's the problem?"

"It wouldn't change anything."

"Yes, it would." Minato kept his eyes level.

Kushina threw up her hands in exasperation. "People would talk if the hokage's wife just up and left you for some crazy quest!"

"You think people aren't talking already? Come on! It would give the kid a shred of respectability, at least."

Kushina didn't respond, she seized a graham cracker and began to nibble on a corner of it.

Minato smirked a little. "Plus, it would save us the trouble later – you don't want to come back from your mission all banged up and have to get married in the hospital."

Kushina shook her head. Minato took a deep breath and was about to start into another argument when she cut him off. "Okay, fine."

"F-fine?" He had an adorable bewildered look on his face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll marry you." Minato eyebrows twitched and a grin bloomed on his face, but before he could launch into paroxysms of glee, Kushina cut him off. "_After_ Naruto's born."

The glee melted into bewilderment again. "Wh-why?"

"Because bridal maternity wear is even worse than every-day maternity wear." Kushina scowled. "It's a whole new level of tacky, and I'm supposed to look fabulous on my wedding day."


	3. Chapter 3

Only one more chapter after this one. Many thanks to my beta, waiting4morning, as usual. Thanks so much for the reviews, folks!

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THREE

From his vantage point on a balcony of Hokage Tower, Minato saw a faint orange glow lick at the trees in the distance – brighter and more pervasive than dawn. He ducked inside to don his long white coat. A messenger tapped on the door to the suite he shared with his fiancée—damn, he loved that word—just as he was adjusting the collar.

"Come."

The messenger who entered was winded – an odd state for any ninja to be in. Minato frowned – he'd been wondering about tightening up training requirements. Too many shinobi were going soft right after passing the chuunin exams. The man in front of him was doubled over, hands on knees in a sort of half-bow of mingled respect and exhaustion.

"Hokage-sama, a scout has just come in from the outpost by the Valley of the End, there's something approaching the village."

"I know, what is it?" Minato could see the man was afraid, but that was no excuse to mince words.

"Muffin?" Kushina's call wafted from the bedroom door over to Minato, who suppressed more annoyance. She knew better than to call him pet names with others around. No one in the village wanted to hear their young, unmarried, fairly green—albeit talented—Yondaime Hokage referred to as 'muffin'. He reminded himself she hadn't been feeling well and may not have heard the messenger enter from the back room.

The messenger was giving him an odd look – not exactly insubordinate but certainly amused. It died when Minato repeated his question. "What is it that's approaching?"

"They're not sure…" the chuunin was evasive.

"Minato-kun?" Kushina's voice came nearer and sounded slightly more urgent.

"They think it may be a bijuu."

Time slowed to a crawl, and Minato scrolled through his knowledge on the subject – _tailed demons, nine known of, highly dangerous…_

"Is it a jinchuuriki? Is it trapped in a human, do you know?" Minato's tone was urgent. A demon with a human host was somewhat more manageable than the alternative.

The messenger shook his head and shrugged, still breathless. "Don't know, but the outpost has been destroyed – we have two ANBU squads out there monitoring it now – they may choose to engage if—"

"It's going to take more than two squads! What—"

"Minato!"

The Hokage snapped to attention, turning to face his bride to be. She stood in the bedroom door looking slightly crazed, hair mussed, one hand on her distended belly. "I'm having your baby, idiot, pay attention!"

"What? Now?" Minato's mind couldn't process Kushina's words – it was full of strategy, troop movements, and destroyed outposts. "Kushina, they think there's a bijuu on its way toward Konoha."

Kushina blanched at his words. "Do they know if it's the same one that…" Her words trailed off, and she closed her eyes for a moment and grimaced, beads of perspiration materialized on her porcelain forehead. "Minato, I don't think the little bastard will let me hold him in until your earliest convenience!"

Minato turned back to the chuunin messenger who looked almost more horrified at the idea of the birth than of the demon that was approaching their village. "First of all, go to the hospital and notify Rin-san that my wife is having our baby—"

"I'm not your wife yet, idiot!"

"—shhh! Tell Rin to meet her at the emergency room entrance. Also, send word to – wait, who ordered the ANBU squads out to monitor the bijuu?"

The messenger looked a little taken aback. "D-Danzou-sama did."

Damn. Of all times for Danzou to make an insubordinate political move, it had to be during a village crisis. The old man seemed determined to make life difficult for Minato, the hand-picked successor of Danzou's rival, Sandaime Hokage. "Tell Danzou-san to meet me in my office _right now_. Also fetch Jiraiya-sama, Uchiha Yashiro-san, and the council members." The messenger blinked stupidly at these orders. "Now!" Minato punctuated the order with a finger toward the door. The chuunin scampered out.

"Minato – what can I do to help?" Kushina's eyes were bright with worry.

"Get to the hospital and have our kid – you said it yourself, he's getting impatient." He offered Kushina a humorless smirk.

"But I can help – I've dealt with bijuu before and I think that…"

"Kushina-chan, we'll figure it out. Can you get to the hospital on your own?" She glared daggers at him by way of a response. Minato grinned wryly. "Send me word when our son is born. I love you."

"I love you too." She walked forward and gave him a kiss and a worried frown. At a loss for further words, Minato flickered out of the room.

* * *

The stench was insidious. Fire had rent the forest, and the odor of death seemed not only to hang in the air but also to cling tenaciously to Minato's once-white cloak and his usually-vibrant yellow hair. He was in a clearing a short distance outside the village with a few of his captains – all of whom were as dingy as he himself was. 

His old teacher, Jiraiya, was sitting on a stump, looking defeated. "The toads have done what they can – Gamabunta doesn't think he'll be able to hold back the Kyuubi much longer. He's tired and this isn't his fight."

"This is _everyone's_ fight – are you going to give up so easily?" Danzou's tone was scornful, his head swathed in bandages – it looked like he would never again have use of his right eye. "If you had let my teams take the Fire Temple hours ago, we would not be in this mess. We would have had a better angle of attack and could have—"

"Enough, Danzou. You've caused enough trouble today." Minato snapped. "We won't do Konoha any favors by turning against each other now." He pinched the bridge of his nose and bowed his head for a moment. "What are our losses?"

"We're not sure, the medics are still looking for survivors from the last push. There aren't many medics left, and if the toads must leave soon that whole area will again be overrun." Yashiro, the Uchiha police chief, spoke in clipped tones.

"Hokage-sama – Sensei!" The reedy voice of a young girl made Minato release his nose and glance up. Rin had dropped into the clearing. She was incongruous in their midst – a young, well-groomed girl in pristine hospital scrubs among a gaggle of filthy, tattered men. "Sensei – Kushina-san sent me with a message. She says you must come and meet Naruto."

Jiraiya beamed. "You didn't say she was having the baby!"

"There didn't really seem the time to bring it up…" Minato could feel a flush of pride creep up his neck. He directed a question at Rin. "Is she okay?"

"Is this really the time?" Danzou retorted.

Rin ignored the old man. "She's tired, it was a hard birth, but she'll recover. She also told me to tell you that she has an idea, and you need to come _now_."

Danzou waved his hand carelessly at Rin. "Well, he can't come, little girl. Hokage-sama is busy at the moment."

Rin gave Danzou a cool gaze. "Where is the medical corps coordinating from?"

"About two kilometers west of here." The reply was from the Uchiha.

"Then I'll go join up with them. Sensei – Kushina-san was serious, you should go see her." With that, Rin gave a chakra-infused leap into the nearest tree and headed west.

"You should go, Minato-kun." It was Jiraiya speaking. "Go see your son – Gamabunta can last for another fifteen minutes, maybe longer."

"But, I don't think that…"

Danzou's low voice was filled with venomous contempt. "Would you abandon your people to their fate while you go and comfort that whore that—"

Jiraiya was going to sputter out a defense of Kushina, but Minato beat him to it. In a heartbeat, he was standing directly behind Danzou, kunai at the old man's reedy throat. "Never – say that – about my wife – again."

Danzou wisely said nothing. Minato lowered the kunai and stepped away from him. "Give me ten minutes." With that he summoned enough chakra to disappear from their midst before anyone else could protest.

* * *

The hospital was jarringly clean and disturbingly silent. The wounded were being triaged on the field, and all available staff members were out there assisting the battle effort. A low rumble – like giants playing hopscotch – would sound in the distance every few seconds. The thoughts of _I_ _shouldn't be here_ and _Where is my son?_ were warring for superiority in Minato's mind, and under it all, a small voice was telling him, _you know what you need to do – but you're afraid._

_All the more reason to see Kushina, one last time._

He found her in her bed. The baby was a bundle of blankets in the arms of a pudgy nurse standing near the headboard. Kushina indeed looked tired, her eyes were red-rimmed, and her luxurious red hair was tied on top of her head in a messy semblance of a bun. She looked proud but anxious. The nurse let out a squeak at his appearance and jumped, jostling the baby. A rosy fist and a soulful wail burst from the blankets, and Kushina turned her head to face the door.

"Minato-kun, you came." The relief on her face was apparent, she turned to the nurse and nodded. "Give him our son."

The nurse handed him the baby with a shaky, "Hokage-sama," and exited in a hurry.

"Look what we made, my love – it's a fish cake!"

Minato chuckled and looked down at his son – his face was screwed up and beet red. The screams were deafening, and his little fists were flailing desperately. Minato noted the shock of blonde hair with a little pride. "He looks like me!"

"That's the way it goes – poor kid." Kushina grinned and gestured him over. "Bring him here." Minato sat on the edge of the bed still cradling the newborn, whose screams were beginning to quiet a little.

"He's… so… squishy."

Kushina snorted and put a hand out to stroke the baby's head; he quieted further, only giving little hiccups of distress now. "Minato, there's not much time. I know what you're thinking, and I think I have a way out."

The shift of subjects jarred Minato back to reality. "What do you mean?"

"You're going to try the _shiki fuujin_, aren't you?"

"How did you—"

"It's not the only way, Minato – you don't have to die." Kushina grasped his arm in urgency. "I know you're thinking of trapping the bijuu in your own body and dying for the village."

"It's the only way we know of to stop a bijuu, Kushina. I developed that jutsu for exactly this kind of problem."

"No, it's not the only way! Well, it is, but it doesn't have to result in death. We can do it together!"

"What do you mean?"

Kushina's blue eyes were on fire, and she gripped his arm tighter. "We can perform the _shiki fuujin_ together – you take the yin, I'll take the yang. Neither of us have to die because we won't be taking the whole demon."

"Kushina, I don't think that…" Minato shook his head slowly.

"No – it could work!"

"I'm not saying your idea isn't sound, Kushina, but you're in no condition to do this – you're completely worn out – Kyuubi would kill you for certain."

"So it _is_ Kyuubi, is it?" Kushina set her jaw and her hand, still stroking Naruto's head, paused for a moment.

Minato nodded grimly. "I know you want to be a part of defeating this demon, Kushina-chan."

"Hell yes, I do! It's the reason my family is dead! It's the reason I don't have a country anymore--"

"Kushina." He said her name tenderly, and it made her pause. "Even if I _could_ divide Kyuubi into yin and yang and put one part in another person, there's no guarantee I could save myself. The jutsu was designed to require a sacrifice, it may take all my strength just to make sure that whoever else was sealed made it out alive."

"Minato, you have to try! Please!" Tears were springing into Kushina's eyes now. "I won't lose you to this demon the way I've lost everyone else!"

Minato had never seen her so distraught. "My love, who would I ask to make that sacrifice with me? I can't ask anyone else to put their life on the line with me – I'm Hokage, it's my duty to protect this village."

"You can't protect them anymore if you're dead! Ask Jiraiya – he loves you like a son! – or Sandaime, he has at least as much duty to the village as you do!"

"Kushina, they are both too old – it would kill them for sure. The younger the vessel, the better the chance of survival." As the words left his lips, a wonderful, terrible idea crossed Minato's mind. He glanced across at Kushina; her eyes were wide and locked on his. In unison they both looked down at the child between them. He was drowsing with his little baby lips slightly parted, cheeks damp from the recent tears. Minato cleared his throat, "No, we can't, he's just…"

"Yes, we can." Kushina's voice was steady. "He's the healthiest baby Rin has ever seen, Minato."

"But he's our son!"

"That means he's tough enough to handle it."

Minato felt his jaw drop. _I can't believe we're actually considering this…_

"Minato – listen to me." He met her eyes again. "I don't want to tell our son, years from now, 'sorry, kid, we just didn't think you had the stuff to save your daddy.'"

"You wouldn't – you can't think of saddling him with that kind of guilt."

"Minato-kun, kids ask questions, I'm not going to lie to him." Kushina shook her head. "You said yourself the greatest risk would be to you – not to Naruto."

Pieces were clicking together in Minato's head. It would definitely increase his chances of success to have Naruto there. Without another person to trap the demon in, the chances of _shiki fuujin_ working at all were slim. Most likely he would die, and the village would still be destroyed by a weakened but still very powerful Kyuubi.

"Minato, I trust you with his life – If you do this, we can really be a family. If you do this, I can be at peace." Kushina's voice was broken. She was pleading with him now, and Minato didn't think he could bear it.

"If I do this, and I fail…" Minato took a deep breath and released it. He stood from the bed and held the baby close to his body. Naruto nuzzled into his shoulder. "Make sure the village knows that our son is a hero – that he's ensuring the village's survival."

"Don't talk like that." Kushina was fierce and beautiful, even in the hospital gown and slapdash hairdo. "You'll succeed – you have to – we're getting married in two weeks."

He bent down and gave her a lingering, tender kiss – soft and familiar. Kushina then pressed her cheek against the yellow fluff of baby Naruto's head and whispered something inaudible in his ear. Minato turned toward the door and, son in arms, flickered out into the tumultuous night.


	4. Chapter 4

Final chapter, y'all. Thanks for all the love via comments/favs/hits.

* * *

FOUR

Kushina felt that the door to her hospital room must have lost some structural integrity from the hours of stares she gave it that night. She seemed to see a flash of yellow, a swirl of white out of the corner of her eye every time she looked away from the door, so she kept her gaze steady and whiled away the hours by making plans.

She did not know what this plan that she and Minato had hatched would mean for her quest - with the Kyuubi imprisoned, would she be able to consider her mission completed? Would that fulfill her promise? She had planned to find some way to neutralize the Kyuubi, which had destroyed her home so many years before – if that job was done, though not by her, could she really find rest?

Then there was the matter of family. She still had to find them – if there were any left to find.

But what of this family – her husband, her son? And what if Minato was right – what if the Death God still required his sacrifice?

What on earth would that mean for Naruto?

Nonsense. Minato was going to walk through that door – tired but alive; babe in arms. Victorious. They were going to be married. Kushina would do her duty and search for a month or two, and then, no matter what she found, they would be together.

And there could be peace.

She was tired, but she would not doze. She wouldn't give up when her everything was hanging in the balance. Even if she was not in a position to act herself, she would keep vigil.

The dull explosions and shouts were no longer echoing into her room from the outskirts of town. The hospital was like a tomb. Kushina waited, but no one came.

Screw vigil. She wanted to know what was going on.

Gingerly, she swung her legs over the side of the hospital bed and hoisted herself into a sitting position. She perched there for a few moments. Her head was swimming and every muscle protested. She argued back by shoving off the bed and trying her feet across the room. The floor was icy, and the floaty hospital gown combined with her baby-free belly made her feel light and brittle like a dried leaf. She took a few shaky steps and glanced around the room for clothing. The dreaded maternity jumper was MIA, but she snatched up a discarded doctor's jacket from the armchair in the room. It was a little small, having belonged to Rin, but this was no time for fashion concerns.

She padded silently down the hospital halls. No one scolded her for being out of bed. Kushina found her way through the labyrinth of hallways to the street below. The unearthly lightness that she felt seemed to possess the entire town. A few citizens were out and about, but they all looked dazed, and they took no notice of Kushina. Pre-dawn light made Konoha ghostly and ethereal.

She wandered in the direction where she'd last heard the sounds of battle. The sun began to peek over the tops of the buildings, jarringly bright. Before she reached the end of the town, she began to hear the sounds of hundreds of whispering footfalls accompanied by the occasional shrill cry of an infant. She stopped and squared her shoulders as the approaching crowd rounded the bend.

It seemed all of Kohoha came around that corner. Shinobi supported one another in a weary plod down the street. Hundreds of familiar faces noted her and glanced away. At the front of the procession, a familiar silhouette seemed to be cradling something in his arms. The figure looked up and saw her.

It wasn't Minato.

Sandaime placed the baby in her arms, and Naruto's wailing dimmed marginally. She looked up at the Third Hokage, questions swirling behind her lips, fighting for precedence. Before any one question could win out, the wave of people broke around them – two stationary figures in a tide of shuffling humanity – and she saw what was approaching.

Her Yondaime was laid out on a stretcher, his filthy hair barely reflected the early sun, but she could tell it was him from the way the parade gave him a wide berth. He was borne by the oddest set of shinobi she had ever seen: Kakashi, his expression troubled, was readily apparent by his shock of silver hair. Opposite him was Jiraiya who was forced to stoop considerably to keep the stretcher level. The sannin's expression was positively tortured. A faceless ANBU took up the third position, and the fourth was occupied by little Rin, whose nose was red and whose cheeks were tearstained so that her lavender tattoos looked striped with rivulets of grape jelly.

None of them made eye contact with her. None of them stopped; they marched on in a daze. Sarutobi, the village's remaining Hokage, patted her shoulder absently and passed her to continue down the street with the crowd. She followed Minato with her eyes as he passed on the stretcher. Kushina couldn't make her lungs take in air when she saw his profile. His face was ashen – free of all expression. That face was never free of expression, not for her. She watched him, willing him to wink or to grin or something – anything. But nothing came. The crowd closed in around Minato's body, hiding him from her view.

Kushina looked down at the child in her arms. This was not the same baby that she had given birth to. Yes, the hair was Minato's, the cries were still hearty, but he had three deep indentations on each cheek that had not been present before. His eyes, still deep newborn blue, were somehow more slanted, and bloodshot. His belly bore an ugly black brand like a curse mark. Kushina felt a sick dread grip her stomach. _What have we done, my love? What have we made? _

She looked up at the people still filing past her and noticed for the first time the way that they were looking at her, looking at Naruto. There was disgust in the eyes of young chuunin, terror in the posture of a little genin kunoichi, and pure unadulterated loathing in the sneer on Danzou-sama's face.

* * *

She knew what the meeting was about. She knew those gathered in the Hokage's study were discussing the future of her little boy – correction, her little monster. Kushina puttered around the near-empty apartment in Hokage Tower, erasing signs of recent habitation. This was not her home without Minato in it. Naruto was peacefully asleep against her chest, snug in the baby-carrier slung across her chest. She glanced at his little whiskered face and stifled the urge to cry. 

_What on earth was I thinking? My greatest enemy is now_ inside_ my own little boy._

She supported his downy yellow head in her hand and crouched down to roll up the vibrant orange area rug on the floor of the former nursery. When she stood and turned, Sarutobi was in the doorway.

"Sandaime-sama."

"Kushina-san. Isn't there anyone who can help you with this?" The old man sounded tired.

"Heh, I'm not exactly the most popular person in the village right now." Sarutobi had the decency to look baffled at this comment, so Kushina elaborated. "I'm the one who kept distracting their beloved Yondaime from his job. It's my bastard son who now carries the Kyuubi."

"Give them time, Kushina-san, they will embrace you both once they have mourned for a while."

"I don't intend to stick around to find out if you're right. We'll be going soon." Kushina thoughtfully rubbed her baby's back and addressed the bundle in a childish voice. "We're going to go find some more Uzumakis, aren't we fish-face? Get out of these nice people's hair?" Kushina glanced back up at Sarutobi and noted his reserved expression.

"That's not possible, Kushina-san."

"Hm?"

"Naruto cannot leave the village."

"What do you mean?" Kushina didn't bother keeping the warning tone out of her voice. This might be Sandaime Hokage, but she wouldn't allow anyone to take her kid away, even if he was a monster.

"The council has decided that in the interests of security, Naruto must not leave the village. You know that he is a jinchuuriki now, and whether Minato intended it or not, his powers will eventually manifest. Do you really think that you can protect him from those that would want that power – all by yourself?" He sighed. "Also, the sealing technique used on him was too volatile – it had too high a price. We are classifying it as a forbidden jutsu."

"Too high a price!" Kushina snorted in rage. "So now you plan on putting my son in a cage to study him? Don't you think that's just upping the price a little too far, old man?"

Sarutobi's voice was cold but even. "It's the best I could do. There were those in the meeting who would have seen Naruto killed in order to destroy the demon inside of him."

"_Those inside the meeting!_ You're talking about Danzou, aren't you, admit it!" When Sarutobi didn't deny her accusation, Kushina felt her cheeks heat and had the nonsensical desire to claw at the old man's face with all the pain that was inside her. Instead, she screamed. "I will _kill_ that traitor! After his little power play, you're still _listening_ to him? What kind of an idiot are you?" The baby stirred and began to cry at the sound of his mother's fury.

"That's enough, Kushina." The old man's voice was quiet, but Kushina couldn't tell how angry he was because hot, stinging tears were flooding her vision, and Naruto was drowning out the tone of Sandaime's voice. She felt them drip off her nose and splatter between her fingers, which rested on baby Naruto's head. "Danzou was at the meeting, but it was not to give suggestions, it was for disciplinary action."

"Disciplinary action? I hope you cut his freaking head off!" She patted and rocked Naruto absentmindedly until his shrill cries turned to more muted whimpers.

"No, unfortunately I couldn't maneuver that one." Sarutobi sounded genuinely saddened by the fact. "He's too much of a favorite with the Daimyo. He was shuffled off the council. We put him in a sector of ANBU where he shouldn't be able to do much damage." The old man shook his head. "No doubt he'll still find some way to spin his little webs of political deceit, but at least he'll have to answer to me." The old man took a step forward and offered Kushina a handkerchief. "Kushina. I would never let anything happen to Naruto. If not for his own sake, for yours and for Minato's. You must believe me. You will adapt. The village will adapt. They will learn to respect you both as heroes."

"Sarutobi-sama, you don't understand." She took the handkerchief and gently wiped off Naruto's tear splattered head before using it on her own face. "I still have to go, but I can't leave Naruto behind. I vowed to find any survivors of my clan – I am still bound by that." Kushina gulped down the sob trapped in her throat.

Sarutobi reached out a weathered hand and stroked Naruto's chubby baby fist. The infant grabbed at his finger. "My dear, you must also attend to this survivor of your clan. Don't forget that."

The sob escaped with a visceral gasp. Kushina's head began to throb, and she clenched the handkerchief in her fist. There was no honorable way out of this situation. A decision had to be made, and she did not have the strength to make it.

* * *

It didn't rain the day that they added all those names to the monument. The sky wasn't even respectfully overcast. The sun beat down on the black-clad shoulders of those congregated and dark sweat stains appeared on every collar just as tears were dripping off every chin. It still didn't rain when they all moved on to Hokage Tower for the second ceremony. Kushina didn't want to go, but she did anyway. The blond baby in Kushina's arms cooed and squirmed and tugged her hair. She glanced down at his cherubic face – so like his father's. 

And yet not.

Kushina's eyes were dry by the time the crowd dispersed. They weren't giving her dirty looks anymore. They weren't even acknowledging her. There was no whisper of the demon inside Naruto because Sarutobi had made a point of forbidding such talk. Kushina thought wryly that it may have been better to just let the talk dissipate naturally, but what did she know?

Nothing – she still knew nothing.

She was on the point of changing her mind all day: when she stepped forward to put a flower on the shrine in Minato's honor, when she returned to the little rented apartment to pack her things, when she made the rounds to inform everyone who might care of her plans (which didn't take long). It would only have taken one person telling her to stay, just one person.

But Sarutobi didn't say anything more against her leaving when she informed him of her mission. Jiraiya didn't criticize her when she approached him to request he keep an eye on his godson till her return. He merely suggested that she stop by the hot springs on her way out of town. Kakashi and Rin didn't say much of anything when she let them know. Kakashi looked thoughtful and nodded, and Rin promised to look out for Naruto when she had time.

She brought Naruto by the children's boarding house just before leaving the village. It was a cold, grey building that served as a sort of long-term day care for the children of ninja who were on missions. Kushina knew that all too often, kids left there became permanent residents – orphans in an orphanage – until they reached academy age and could care for themselves, more or less. She knew when she caught sight of the sour-looking woman that ran the place, that she was making a horrible mistake.

The matron, a battered old crone, held out her twiggy arms for the infant, but Kushina didn't place him in her hands. She backed off a step, repulsed, and images of her escaping this place with Naruto filled her mind. They wouldn't be able to stop Uzumaki Kushina. She could sneak out of Konoha in the middle of the night with her son and no one would be able to track them. The matron moved forward at Kushina's hesitation and made to take the baby.

"Hey – hey grandma! Chill for a minute, okay? Let me at least say goodbye to my son!"

The old woman pursed her lips in distaste but nodded and backed off. Kushina turned away and rocked on the balls of her feet, murmuring to the baby in her arms.

"Well, what do you say, kiddo? Should we make a break for it?"

Naruto gurgled and blinked at his mother.

"They're right, you know. I can't protect you like you need protected…"

The baby blew a spit bubble. Kushina, unable to produce a tissue, dabbed at the saliva with a clean spot on her sleeve. Naruto went a little cross-eyed trying to keep his mother's hand in focus. Kushina chuckled and stroked his pudgy cheek with her index finger. She sighed.

"I will miss you more than anything, Naruto." The little boy giggled and grabbed at Kushina's finger. "You know, this is just a mission, after all – I'll be back before you know it." Actually, the journey was in the village records as an 'extended mission' – meaning there was no telling how long she'd be away from the village, searching. Naruto just slobbered on Kushina's finger and cooed like he knew he was adorable. Kushina felt sick and her eyes began to sting. She screwed up her face in an effort to prevent the coming tears.

"Just remember, your daddy was a hero, and so are you. Wear a night cap so you don't catch cold. Don't let anyone tease you because of your name." The baby looked perplexed. His mother freed her hand from his fist and tickled his tummy. He grinned, a toothless baby grin.

"I meant it, Naruto. I promised your dad I'd come back, and I meant it. That promise is yours now. You can count on it."

Kushina stood there a while longer, just staring into that face. She could see Minato staring back up at her through the eyes of her son. She took in a deep breath and released it, blinking rapidly to cool her stinging eyes, and she turned back to the hag who was ready once again to receive the infant. Kushina shifted Naruto into the waiting arms, hating herself as she did so. She considered warning the old woman of what tortures she would receive if anything happened to her son, but realized that threatening the child-care specialist may not be the best way to ensure that they learn to love Naruto.

Instead, Kushina nodded briskly, managed a sad smile, and turned away from her baby. She stepped out into the raging sunlight, shouldered her small field pack, and left the Village Hidden in the Leaves.


	5. Epilogue

The sequel for Promises has begun! Here is the first tidbit of my new story, "Regrets", the first chapter of which can be found on my profile as of 3/3/08.

* * *

EPILOGUE

About a mile from Konoha, Kushina abandoned her run for a more leisurely approach. Dropping to the path in a cloud of dust, she began to look around her. Things had changed. Of course things had changed.

Twelve years. Hell, twelve years - almost thirteen. Did she even dare show her face after that long?

Being bold came naturally to Kushina, but this was a bit much, even for her. She tried to stuff the seeping guilt down under empty mantras and excuses. But _Better late than never _and _It took longer than I expected_ made her taste bile they were so bad.

Twelve - almost thirteen years. That would make him... lord, that would make him nigh unto pubescent. But in her mind she was still holding him in her arms, holding him and telling him she'd be back soon.

Things got messier as she neared the wall. This didn't surprise her as she had heard that there had been an attack on Konoha; that Orochimaru had invaded sometime during the last Chuunin Exam but had been driven from the village. She felt a silly swell of pride at that thought. Of course they had gotten rid of the snake - the ninja of Konoha were tough. She let the thought buoy her as if she too had been there to defend her village, her son.

But yes, things looked bad. There were vast swaths of leveled forest from some sort of battle that had gone on there. She found herself frequently walking through these unnatural clearings - peppered with scorch marks and craters. It was every bit as bad as the forest she had left by twelve years earlier. Maybe no time had passed after all - maybe Naruto would still be that blonde little cherub with Minato's face.

One look at the wall told her otherwise. An enormous chunk of Konoha's outer defense was demolished. Scaffolding stretched across part of the rift, but it looked as though construction was slow-going—the new portion reached perhaps a foot over Kushina's head. That might stop a stray cow, but it wouldn't discourage enemy ninja. Perhaps things were worse than she imagined.

She contemplated just going through the gap in the wall—the construction site looked abandoned enough, and some anonymity would be a blessing. Just report to the Hokage and find out where Naruto is. In and out. Nobody recognizing her along the way.

But no one had ever accused Uzumaki Kushina of being a coward; she would return as she left, through the gate. She touched the forehead protector she wore on her arm, self conscious, fingering the grooves that formed the whirlpool symbol. Taking a deep breath, she passed through the gate. There were a couple of chuunin on guard as usual, but Kushina didn't recognize either one. They looked young—probably academy age when Kushina had been there last—but they had the bored expressions of people who had been doing this job for a while. One of them, a kid with too much hair and a bandage across his nose, looked up at her entrance.

She approached their station, forcing her muscles to stay relaxed, though she desperately wanted to bolt back out of the gate and hide. Not wanting them to think her an enemy, she kept her hands clear of the weapons pouch she had lashed to her thigh. She knew at the slightest wrong move, these guys would be on her - it was their job. It didn't matter that she could probably take them both in a matter of seconds, she didn't want a couple of damaged chuunin to dampen her hypothetical welcome back to the village.

"Name? For the records?" It was the other guy who asked the question - no bandage on this one, but his bangs did seem to be taking over his face (must be the look these days, she mused).

"Uzumaki Kushina."

My my, that look they exchanged was certainly ominous...


End file.
